Life Sucks Sometimes. I Need a Change Stat!!!!

Hello all...

As you can probably already tell this post is not going to be all sunshine and rainbows.  After my last post about unfortunately not receiving a job offer, I've been in a funk.  I've realized that I can no longer work in retail (at least not in the position I'm currently in).  I need something more, I need a management position or a real job, I just need a change.  I need something that will provide me the financial security I am looking for.

So, where does that leave me.  Hopeless, frustrated, tired, optimistic? How about all of the above.  I keep telling myself that I'm giving myself the summer to kind of figure out what I want to do but in reality there aren't really jobs out there (at least the jobs that are there are not entry level positions).  I'm just confused. I've been reading the book Life After College and the information in the book is actually helping me figure out what my goals are, what motivates me, and is helping me develop a life plan.  While the book is helping me, it is making me semi depressed as well.  I know a lot of college students are struggling to find a job but I don't hear them complaining.  I cannot stress it enough, I'm begging someone to give me a chance.

I guess the rejection email I received from my last interview is taunting me.  I should probably just delete it but I keep looking at it hoping some how it will say what I want it to say.  It's not going to happen but I can dream!  What got me was that the email said "You are extremely qualified for the position and come highly recommended, but we've decided to go with someone with more experience."  There's that word again, experience, it's almost taunting me now.  How do employers expect recent grads to gain this experience if they are not willing to give someone a chance.  I wish I used my college experience a little more efficiently and done more internships to gain that experience but I don't have a time machine so that isn't really possible.  I guess I'll just hope some employer will remember the feeling and take a chance on me.

Sorry for my rant about jobs, I think the fact that I was so close to getting this position it made me re-evaluate my life and has frustrated me.  My one friend asked me if I actually wanted this position or was I just excited to have a job? What's interesting is I couldn't really answer the question.  I think I was more interested in making a decent amount of money and being able to say I'm employed rather then doing the actual job.  Oh well, no sense in wondering what could have been.

My week improved slightly over the next couple of days.  I was able to FINALLY get a haircut, which was long overdue!

Unfortunately, my hair only looked this good for a few hours because the Jersey humidity and rain caused my naturally wavy hair to frizz and poof up.  I am grateful that my hair is healthy and shiny and just so soft.  I'm thinking come September I may try something extreme with my hair.  I've done the short bob or the long shapeless hair.  The only thing I haven't done is dye my hair yet.  My hair stylist as well as the manager of the salon I go to told me to not even think about dying my hair but I want something different.  I want to add definition and color to my hair.  What I'm thinking is something like this in terms of the cut and maybe even the color....

from Pinterest

I don't think I'd go as blonde, but maybe go a light brown at my ends.  I wish I could have my hair look this good everyday but my waves are not as disciplined.  I tend to wake up with one side looking a mess while the other looks nice and pulled together.  

This is the color I'm thinking would soot my skin tone better...

Like the title states I need a change.  Whether it's a new job or a new hairstyle.  I need something that will boost my confidence and hopefully help me land a job.


I want to leave this blog with a quote that I find fitting for this blog.

"Keep on beginning and failing.  Each time you fail, start over again, and you will grow stronger until you have accomplished a purpose- not the one you began with perhaps, but you you'll be glad to remember. " Anne Sullivan

Hopefully my next post will be filled with sunshine and butterflies!!!!

A Little Bit About Myself

1. I was born on Christmas… some may say I’m JC reincarnated but you can decide that!

2. I have a cat named Tinks.  Well her real name is Princess but we’ve called her: Princess Black Uggs, Beautiful Gorgeous, Evil Shadow, Boo Boo Kitty, Bopits, Stoopid Kitty, LaLa, Tinks da Stinks.  I’m sure there are more but right now that’s all I can think of.

3. I am obsessed with all things Missoni and Chevron print

4.  I love DISNEY WORLD! Honestly, I could go there every year and love it.

5. I love roller coasters… Even though at times I’m scarred I have to go on them.

6. I hate elevators.  I have a fear of dying in one.  Last year, i thought it would be smart to go on Tower of Terror to get over my fear of elevators, needless to say I still am afraid of them, but I did enjoy the ride! Just went on it again and loved loved loved it.

7. I love all things Tinkerbell.  I think it may have to do with the fact that I named my cat Tinks but not after Tinkerbell.  She got sprayed by a skunk once so we all just started calling her Tinks da stinks.

8. I love owls and turtles.  I love turtles because my Grandmother who passed away last year loved them.  As a way to honor her I try to buy anything I can find with a turtle on it.  I love owls because last May there was an owl in my neighbors tree.  I named him Earle, but I couldn’t tell you if he was a girl or a guy.  So i decided he was a cross dressing female owl.

9. I never been out west.  The farthest west I’ve traveled is probably Pennsylvania but I’ve done most of the East coast aside from the North East.

10.  I love living in Jersey, specifically the Jersey Shore.  It’s not as trashy as MTV’s Jersey Shore makes it seems but in the summer the “Benny’s” make it unbearable.

11.  My all time favorite movies include: Robinhood Men in Tights, Pretty Woman, and Dirty Dancing.

12.  I’ve recently discovered All Time Low, and have been obsessed with them ever since.  My favorite songs of theirs are: Therapy, Remembering Sunday, and Stay Awake (Acoustic). 

13. I’m obsessed with Reality TV.  Dance Moms and Toddlers and Tiaras make me laugh.  I can’t believe there are crazy parents out there.  Mackenzie is my favorite from T&T. Duck Dynasty is a new favorite

14.  I’m obsessed with OPI nail polish.  My favorite colors include: Mad as a Hatter, Lincoln Park After Dark, Teenage Dream, and Designer…de better!  But it all depends on my mood what color I want.

15. I’m not very organized except for when it comes to my schoolwork and work.  I take my grades very seriously and strive to make sure that I always produce my best effort.

16.  I’ve recently become obsessed with the game Fruit Ninja (I know I'm late on this bang wagon)… I could play it for hours.

17.  I work in retail and although I appreciate the experience I’ve realized that I never want to work in retail again.  It’s not for me but it does make realize how very few people stop to acknowledge the person who’s ringing them up.  A simple “thanks” and “how are you doing” really does go a long way.

18. I want to adopt a greyhound when I’m older and multiple cats.  I absolutely love animals and think because my parents won’t let me have multiple animals that I want to have so many animals.

19. I don’t really like to play sports but I LOVE THE NEW YORK YANKEES and watching sports on TV!!!! I am a religious follower of the Yankees.  I grew up watching and rooting for the Core Four (Jeter, Rivera, Posada, and Pettitte) and I’m sad that their careers are coming to an end. If I had to rank my top 5 current players they would be: 1. Jeter 2. Sabathia 3. Cano 4. Swisher 5. Teixeria

20. I hate flying but I have a strange desire to travel the world.  I just want to experience different cultures and help out where  I can.

21. I’m afraid to grow up.  With growing up comes new responsibilities that I’m not sure I’m ready for. 

22.  I’m starting to look for jobs for after I graduate and that scares the crap out of me but if I don’t want to work in retail I need to get on top of sending out my resumes!

Tori